Couples

Jump to Specialized Services

Sara has extensively studied four established couples counselling approaches  and expertly weaves these together to fit each couple.

These are:  Imago Relationship Therapy (Harville Hendrix), the Developmental Model (Bader-Pearson Model), Relational Life Therapy (Terry Real), and Interpersonal Neurobiology (Allan Schore).  Each couple is unique and each dilemma they face together is complex, and Sara matches the needs of each situation with clinical fluidity and attunement, regardless of whether the issue is “Are we going to have a baby?” or “How do we repair after the affair?

Question:  Why does it hurt so much? 

Couples often have little idea about what is actually hurting their relationship; they work hard to keep it together but with little reward, become demoralized. Give yourselves the gift of counselling—of receiving coaching which finally leads to ANSWERS and a robust and vital partnership.  Sara will thoroughly assess the unique issues and dynamics of your partnership and tailor your sessions to address those exact areas.  In addition, Sara provides several specialized services which are described below.  These are offered in response to the patterns of distress that Sara frequently observes in relationship, and they may be a perfect fit for your dilemma.


Relationships require SKILLS

Marriage is the hardest spiritual practice in the world—Leonard Cohen


Despite their best efforts and intentions, couples end up in complicated and intense emotional tangles, which eventually expose the early wounds of childhood. We carry the memories—both explicit and implicit—of painful bonding experiences in early life and these are unconsciously carried over into adult dynamics, often causing deep angst, misunderstandings, and alienation.  When partners consciously pursue and complete the relationship tasks they missed out on, they move forward with new competence and satisfaction in their relationship and within themselves, a process of maturity called differentiation.


They can be LEARNED

I am your Staunch Relationship Advocate!
I bring these game-changing gifts to your partnership, which allow the development of relationship:
Presence. Discernment. Developmental Assists.


 

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Learn the Skills of Staying Connected

We ALL need Connection! 

Each of these orientations has particular strengths, but all share the basic understanding that humans are intensely social in nature and need deep, sustaining connections with each other and their own lifeforce to thrive. Though lovers are initially intensely compelled to bond, the skills and maturity levels required to succeed in long-term alliances are often not modeled or taught, leaving lovers bewildered about how to stay close as they face the substantial challenges of partnership.

Deliverables
Active and consistent engagement in Couples Counselling typically earns these essential skills:

  • Practice love as well as profess it; know your partners language of love and hit their intimacy bullseye with accuracy.
  • Create more moments of fun together as a couple and cultivate an atmosphere of appreciation
  • Explore sexual satisfaction in the partnership
  • Identify and repair a relational rupture, thus creating a tone of emotional safety and trust.
  • Harness reactive, destructive anger and initiate productive responding.
  • Become trustworthy and reliable–know what behaviors inspire your partner to relax and greet you with openness rather than self-protection.
  • More Deliverables


I am often asked the question: “What exactly do you do in our sessions?”

Here is my attempt to put the The Art of Couples Counselling into words.

Services

Intensives

The bulk of the intensive will involve both parties together, but you may meet with me individually from time to time. Homework is given between the sessions to keep your progress in play and allow you to practise. Remember, the brain grows through repetition! Insight alone cannot change behaviour. Jump to sections: What we will… Read more »

Discernment Counselling

This is a short term (5 sessions maximum) intervention which supports ambivalent partners to make a decision to: 1. End the relationship and engage in conscious closure or 2. Re-commit though a ceremony and then seriously work on the dynamics that the discernment counselling has revealed. This method was developed by Dr. Bill Doherty, an international… Read more »

Therapeutic Separation

Therapeutic Separation (TS) is recommended when partners are burned out towards eachother, constantly “setting eachother off” and acting out in damaging ways. It is an established period of time where you continue your work in therapy, you remain a couple, but you reside apart. The “time away” is strategic and intended to allow partners to… Read more »

Conscious Uncoupling

When it’s time to part….. Consciously completing a relationship is a grand accomplishment and a radical departure from the traditional breakup marked by animosity, crushed self esteem, mistrust, and horrifying legal bills. Our culture is rampant with destructive breakups which induce intense suffering, some of which never heals. Hating the person you once loved is… Read more »