Category: Musings

Behavior Change in 5 Chapters

There are rare occasions where we are able to change a behaviour “cold turkey”, overnight.  Bang, quantum leap, paradigm shift, DONE.  More typically, it is practise of a new storyline that makes progress.  Changing your game requires an increase in capacity, a persistent skill building, which eventually has a tipping point into the new behavior…. Read more »

Love Happening

  Literary Advisory:  park your mind; this is a love letter. As if shot from Cupid’s bow, the unfurling of Spring is piercing my heart with pointed questions about the true nature and capacity of the human heart to bloom and grow.  The deep shadow revealing itself in human politics in January seems paradoxically to… Read more »

Your Magnetic Word of the Year

WORDS are not just elements of speech or writing, they are energy which has the capacity to impact or transform our own or others’ vibrations.  Words connect us on a far deeper level than just getting our point across cognitively. Think of the human love affair with poetry—how it moves us to tears, ignites the courage… Read more »

Forgiveness: It restores YOU too

Forgiving someone—in essence saying “you are totally okay with me (though I didn’t love what you did) and I’m able and willing to move forward with you in an open-hearted way” is relatively easy if you have received a deep apology and there is clear remorse and an intent to change the actions that hurt…. Read more »

Relationships: Riot-Us or Right-Us? Part 1

This series assists partners in understanding the very common, (and equally ineffective)  behaviors that send relationships off the rails.  If you want to ease your relationship from Riot-Us to Right-Us, follow this series and put your energy behind solid, proven, collaborative endeavours. Riot-Us vs Right-Us strategy #1:  Expectations Let’s start with the honest truth (what other… Read more »

Tender Truth Vs Brutal Honesty

Tender Truth vs Brutal Honesty It is perhaps the first axiom of relationships to be honest with eachother. That is, after all, how the foundations of deep trust and intimacy are built and maintained. Then why does it sometimes produce just the opposite effect, alienating our partner and bringing out their gorilla defence? Because with… Read more »

It’s Not Fair!

Is a protest that I hear over and over as couples strive to implement a basic rule drilled into them in childhood. There are many times when this injunction can produce equitable and sustainable alliances and as one tool among many, it is useful. But if you will–just for a moment–breathe open more space for… Read more »